At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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