Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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