His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
