What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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