just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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