I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize