threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
