it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
