i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
