new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
and she was petting her beer can
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
