My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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