i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
