these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
