i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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