I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
