Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
