is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Randomize