I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just found a bag of teeth...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
