I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we made out on top of his cat.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
