just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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