i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i came on her dog
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize