Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.

Fav 6 3834 913
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?

Fav 76 5085 987
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."

Fav 11 837 3266
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(469): View more from Texas

Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?

Fav 12 963 2140
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?

Fav 14 3794 922
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.

Fav 3 874 539
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(714): View more from California

Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.

Fav 5 956 549
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(817): View more from Texas

But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.

Fav 3 74 16
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(515): View more from Iowa

I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.

Fav 0 9 23
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