don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
