Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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