i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
