I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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