There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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