Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
