I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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