No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
