I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
