My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
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