i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
