Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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