I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
