That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
