How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
