dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
