His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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