nut hugger
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
