I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
