I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
