Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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