I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
