Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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