I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Randomize