Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is it because I queefed?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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