We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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