i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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