Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
