just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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