My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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