Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I touched a dick in church today
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
