dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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