I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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