What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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