So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
