That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
