guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
