Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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