i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
