On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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