Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize