my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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