i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize