found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
