get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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