so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
