U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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