she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize