So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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