no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You were trust falling into bushes
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
