She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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