we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize