omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
