Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
