Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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