Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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