I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
