Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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(555): View more from

My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13

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(+61): View more from Australia

remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.

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(517): View more from Michigan

the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.

(1-517): View more from Michigan

fuck our hall.

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(914): View more from New York

Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."

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(425): View more from Washington

Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it

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(716): View more from New York

His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂

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